If thou go to the water closet，thou needest one to wash thy gap and pluck out the hairs which overgrow it； and this is the extreme of sluggish ness and the sign，outward and visible，of stupidity[376] In short，there is no good thing about thee，and indeed the poet Title of thee，'Heavy and swollen like an urine-bladder blown，* With hips and thighs like mountain propping piles of stone；
Whene'er she walks in Western hemisphere，her tread*Makes the far Eastern world with weight to moan and groan.'
Quoth her master，'Sit thee down，this sufficeth；'so she sat down and he signed to the yellow girl，who rose to her feet and praised Allah Almighty and magnified His name，calling down peace and blessing on Mohammed the best of His creatures； after which she pointed her finger at the brunette and said to her，'And Shahrazad perceived the dawn of day and ceased to say her permitted say.
When it was the Three Hundred and Thirty-seventh Night，She continued，It hath reached me，O auspicious King，that 'the yellow girl stood up and praised Almighty Allah and magnified His name； after which she pointed her finger at the brown girl and said to her： 'I am the one praised in the Koran，and the Compassionate hath described my complexion and its excellence over all other hues in His manifest Book，where Allah saith，'A yellow，pure yellow，whose colour gladdeneth the beholders.'[377] Wherefore my colour is a sign and portent and my grace is supreme and my beauty a term extreme； for that my tint is the tint of a ducat and the colour of the planets and moons and the hue of ripe apples.My fashion is the fashion of the fair，and the dye of saffron outvieth all other dyes； so my semblance is wondrous and my colour marvellous.I am soft of body and of high price，comprising all qualities of beauty.My colour is essentially precious as virgin gold，and how many boasts and glories cloth it not unfold！ Of the like of me quoth the poet，'Her golden yellow is the sheeny sun's；*And like gold sequins she delights the sight：
Saffron small portion of her glance can show；*Nay，[378] she outvies the moon when brightest bright.'
And I shall at once begin in thy dispraise，O berry-brown girl！
Thy tincture is that of the buffalo，and all souls shudder at thy sight.If thy colour be in any created thing，it is blamed； if it be in food，it is poisoned； for thy hue is the hue of the dung-fly； it is a mark of ugliness even in dogs； and among the colours it is one which strikes with amazement and is of the signs of mourning.Never heard I of brown gold or brown pearls or brown gems.If thou enter the privy，thy colour changeth，and when thou comest out，thou addest ugliness to ugliness.Thou art a non-de； neither black，that thou mayst be recognised，nor white，that thou mayst be described； and in thee there is no good quality，even as saith the poet，'The hue of dusty motes is hers； that dull brown hue of hers*Is mouldy like the dust and mud by Cossid's foot upthrown：[379]
I never look upon her brow，e'en for eye-twinkling's space，*But in brown study fall I and my thoughts take browner tone.'
Quoth her master，'Sit thee down； this much sufficeth；'so she sat down and he signed to the brunette.Now she was a model of beauty and loveliness and symmetry and perfect grace； soft of skin，slim of shape，of stature rare，and coal-black hair； with cheeks rosy-pink，eyes black rimmed by nature's hand，face fair，and eloquent tongue； moreover slender-waisted and heavy-hipped.
So she rose and said： 'Praise be to Allah who hath created me neither leper-white nor bile-yellow nor charcoal-black，but hath made my colour to be beloved of men of wit and wisdom，for all the poets extol berry-brown maids in every tongue and exalt their colour over all other colours.To 'brown of hue （they say） praise is due；'and Allah bless him who singeth，'And in brunettes is mystery，could'st'thou but read it right，*
Thy sight would never dwell on others，be they red or white：
Free-flowing conversation，amorous coquettishness*Would teach Harut himself a mightier spell of magic might.'
And saith another，'Give me brunettes，so limber，lissom，lithe of sway，* Brunettes tall，slender straight like Samhar's nut-brown lance；[380]
Languid of eyelids and with silky down on either cheek，* Who fixed in lover's heart work to his life mischance.'
And yet another，'Now，by my life，brown hue hath point of comeliness*Leaves whiteness nowhere and high o'er the Moon takes place；
But an of whiteness aught it borrowed self to deck，* 'Twould change its graces and would pale for its disgrace：
Not with his must[381] I'm drunken，but his locks of musk *Are wine inebriating all of human race.
His charms are jealous each of each，and all desire*To be the down that creepeth up his lovely face.'
And again another，'Why not incline me to that show of silky down，* On cheeks of dark brunette，like bamboo spiring brown？
Whenas high rank in beauty poets sing，they say*Brown ant-like specklet worn by nenuphar in crown.
And see I sundry lovers tear out others'eyne*For the brown mole beneath that jetty pupil shown，Then why do censors blame me for one all a mole？*Allah I pray demolish each molesting clown！'[382]
My form is all grace and my shape is built on heavy base； Kings desire my colour which all adore，rich and poor.I am pleasant，active，handsome，elegant，soft of skin and prized for price： eke I am perfect in seemlibead and breeding and eloquence； my aspect is comely and my tongue witty； my temper is bright and my play a pretty sight.As for thee，thou art like unto a mallow growing about the Luk Gate；[383] in hue sallow and streaked-yellow and made all of sulphur.Aroynt thee，O copper-worth of jaundiced sorrel，O rust of brass-pot，O face of owl in gloom，and fruit of the Hell-tree Zakkum；[384] whose bedfellow，for heart-break，is buried in the tomb.And there is no good thing in thee，even as saith the poet of the like of thee，'Yellowness，tincturing her tho'nowise sick or sorry，*Straitens my hapless heart and makes my head sore ache；
