2018年02月14日 16:21 (星期三)，我回复：
Hi，Can.
Wow， Turkey is a wonderful country， and the Turks are so strong and brave， which makes me more yearn for it. Whatever kind of music is ok， because I believe in your taste， and I think that every piece of work has something worth appreciating.
Your question is not random， it requires people to think deeply， to think about their own cognition， and to the cognition of time and society. These questions are related to history， psychology， and philosophy， and I really need to spend some time thinking about how to answer them. Because I rarely think about such a problem with a grand view of the world， I tend to focus on the present moment and analyze my own psychology and behavior. So if my answer makes you feel uncomfortable， forgive me.
To answer your first question， I need to solve two small questions: what is the character of the person I willbecome? And what kind of friend do you mean? I think it's close friend. To be objective， she would not be willing to be my bosom friend， unless the man was hurt badly or she is really kind. That not because of my character or behavior is very rude， but I suffered too many people's sarcasm (although I have been doing well at school， very obedient， but still many students have been laughing at me， they have never thought it can bring much harm to other people) I must perform perfectly. If they're very extroverted and good at getting people.I'm not going to be the person they are going to please; If they are especially confident and capable， I will feel inferior and introverted， and they will not want to be friends with me. Therefore， only those who are able to understand my pain ，will be willing to really come to me and be fully accepted by me. My friends are mature. Although I am not outstanding， but I am also in an active life， have own moral standard， I hope my friend is also a pure and sincere person.
Then answer your second question， I think I'd rather meet my past self. The development of the times has made everyone's pace faster and faster， and more and more ignore the inner truth. In the future， I will only be disappointed by the cold technology. I want to return to the Republic period of China (1912-1949) about 100 years ago. The Republic of China was the period of the great upheaval in Chinese history and the end of semi-colonial and semi-feudal society. In the period of the Republic of China， the pursuit of democracy and science never ceased. At that time， there were a lot of highly patriotic literati， I admire their talent and patriotism. If I was the one I had met in the past， I would encourage her to be brave enough to grasp own destiny. If a chance to receive education was not given as a woman， then devote myself to the revolution following the revolution of team learning knowledge， and make a contribution to defend national unity. I hope that I could write a lot of inspiring words in that time， to alert those who was falling to numbness， to unite all Chinese， to fight for freedom and equality. I also hope to meet a person I admire， let the troubled world witness our steadfast love， and we witness the recovery of the motherland.
I don't think I can express myself clearly enough in English， but that's all I can do.
Best wishes!
所见及我所想，尽管我也不想表现得我很可怜，我很委屈，我很卑微，可是我的人生就是那样，我的心理也是那样，我无法隐藏，也不想隐藏。
我说只有非常善良或也受过伤的人才会愿意跟我交朋友，就是比较知心的那种朋友。因为只有这样，Ta才能体会我的隐忍、自卑、自尊和自强，还有我的焦虑、善妒、怯懦和邪恶。理解其实我也不是别人看来的那么坏，我只是疲于去解释和表达自己，我不想出风头，只想老老实实地过我自己的日子。请不要关注我、猜疑我、挖苦我、歧视我、孤立我、讨厌我，我即便想攻击报复别人，我也没有那个智商和本事。我真的只想赶紧毕业去另一个我可以自由呼吸的地方。这样的人应该能理解我的挣扎与无奈，我的负担和压力，我的理想和爱好。可是即便是这样，我也不会从朋友身上索取和奢求什么，不要伤害我，就像对待正常人跟我相处我就心满意足了。收受恩惠也让我觉得不配和不安，所以淡如水，给彼此空间就好了，不要探寻太多我的悲惨经历，一切尽在不言中就好。
如果能穿梭时空，我想回到一百多年前的民国时期，在那个文人骚客、仁人志士辈出，危机与转机并存的伟大时代。也许在那样一个绝境里我才能真正生出反抗的勇气，去表达和表现自己，不那么在意别人的评价。或许我的一点点文采也可以得到发扬，在命如扁舟的时代里遇到志同道合的人，要么成就事业要么遇到自己的伉俪，至少也可以见证那么多的革命烈士的英雄事迹，我总可以做点什么的。哪怕化为滚滚洪流中的一颗泥沙，我也在所不惜。另外，如果肉体够痛了，或许心灵就不会那么痛了，也许我会过得活得更惬意快乐。
