TEXAS THOMPSON'S "ELECTION."
"An' between us," remarked the Old Cattle man, the observation being relevant to the subject of our conversation on the occasion of one of our many confabs, "between you an' me, I ain't none shore about the merits of what you-all calls law an' order.Now a pains-takin'
an' discreet vig'lance committee is my notion of a bulwark.Let any outfit take a bale of rope an' a week off, an' if their camp ain't weeded down to right principles an' a quiet life at the end tharof, then I've passed my days as vain as any coyote which ever yelps.
"Of course thar dawns a time when Wolfville has to come to it, same as others.They takes to diggin' for copper; an' they builds the Bird Cage Op'ry House, an' puts in improvements general.We even culminates in a paper, which Doc Peets assures us is the flower of our progress.Nacherally on the heels of all them outbursts we gives up our ****** schemes, organizes, an' pulls off an 'lection.But as Old Man Enright is made alcalde tharby, with Jack Moore marshal, the jolt is not severe nor the change so full of notice.
"It's not long prior to these yere stampedes into a higher moonicipal life, however, when quite a b'ilin' of us is in the Red Light discussin' some sech future.Our rival, Red Dog, is allowin'
it's goin' to have a mayor or somethin', an' we sorter feels like our hands is forced.
"'For myse'f,' says Old Man Enright, when the topic is circ'latin', with the whiskey followin' suit, an' each gent is airin' his idees an' paintin' his nose accordin' to his taste, 'for myse'f, I can see it comin'.Thar's to be law yere an' 'lections; an' while at first it's mighty likely both is goin' to turn out disturbin' elements, still I looks on their approach without fear.Wolfville is too strong, an' Wolfville intelligence is too well founded, to let any law loco it or set it to millin'.'
"'Still,' says Dan Boggs, 'I must remark I prefers a dooly authorized band of Stranglers.A vig'lance committee gets my game right along.They's more honest than any of these yere lawsharps who's 'lected to be a jedge; an' they's a heap more zealous, which last is important.'
"'Boggs is right,' replies Enright.'It may not become me, who is head of the local body of that sort, to make boasts of the excellence of a vig'lance committee; but I ain't bluffin' on a four-flush when I challenges any gent to put his tongue to an event where a vig'lance committee stretches a party who ain't in need tharof; or which goes wastin' its lariats on the desert air.I puts it to you-alls without heat or pride, gents; Jedge Lynch is right every time.'
"'Put me down,' says Doc Peets, at the same time makin' signs for the barkeep to remember his mission on earth, 'put me down as coincidin' in them sentiments.An' I says further, that any party who's lookin' for the place where the bad man is scarce, an' a law-abidin' gent has the fullest liberty, pegged out to the shorest safetytood, let him locate where he finds the most lynchin's, an'
where a vig'lance committee is steadily engaged discriminatin'
'round through the community.
Which a camp thus provided is a model of heavenly peace.'
"'You can gamble, if anybody's plumb aware of these yore trooths, it's me,'
says Texas Thompson.
'When I'm down in the South Paloduro country, workin' a passel of Bar-K-7 cattle, I aids in an effort to 'lect a jedge an' institoot reg'lar shore-'nough law; an' the same comes mighty near leavin' the entire hamlet a howlin' waste.It deciminates a heap of our best citizens.
"'This yere misguided bluff comes to pass peculiar; an' I allers allows if it ain't for the onforeseen way wherein things stacks up, an' the muddle we-alls gets into tryin' to find a trail, the Plaza Paloduro would have been a scene of bleatin' peace that day, instead of a stric'ly corpse-an'-cartridge occasion.The death rate rises to that degree in fact that the next roundup is shy on men; an' thar ain't enough cartridges in camp, when the smoke blows away, to be seed for a second crop.On the squar', gents, that 'lection day on the South Paloduro was what you-alls might term a massacre, an' get it right every time.'
"'Well, what of this yere toomultuous 'lection?' demands Dave Tutt, who gets impatient while Texas refreshes himse'f in his glass.'You-all reminds me a mighty sight, Texas, of the Tucson preacher who pulls his freight the other day.They puts it to him, the Tucson folks do, that he talks an' he talks, but he don't p'int out; an' he argufies an' he argufies, but he never shows wherein.A party who's goin' to make a pulpit-play, or shine in Arizona as a racontoor, has done got to cult'vate a direct, incisive style.'
"'That's all c'rect,' remarks Texas, some savage, as he recovers his nose outen his glass; 'never you fret me none about my style not bein' incisive.Thar be other plays where any gent who comes puttin'
it all over me with roode an' intemp'rate remarks will find me plenty incisive; not to say some soon:
"'Yere!' interrupts Enright, quick an' sharp.'This is plumb outside the line.Texas ain't got no call to wake up so malignant over what's most likely nothin' worse than humor on Tutt's part; an', Tutt, it ain't up to you none neither, to go spurrin' Texas in the shoulder in the midst of what I'm yere to maintain is a mighty thrillin' narration.'
"'Texas is good people,' says Dave, 'an' the last gent with which Ithirsts to dig up the war-axe.Which I'm proud to be his friend; an'
I means no offense when I su'gests that he whirl a smaller loop when he onbosoms himse'f of a tale.I yere tenders Texas my hand, assurin' of him that I means my language an' ain't holdin' out nothin'.Shake!' An' at this Dave reaches his pistol-hand to Texas Thompson, an' the same is seized prompt an' friendly.
"`This yere is my fault,' says Texas.'I reckons now my wife recoverin' that Laredo divorce I'm mentionin' to you-alls, sorter leaves me a heap petulant, that a-way.But to go back to this war-jig I was relatin' about down at Plaza Paloduro.
