'Bassanio has a most beautiful wife, gentlemen,' said Sir Walter, 'and he wouldn't think of parting with her under any circumstances;therefore let us keep our intentions a secret from him.' I did not hear whom the gentleman married, madame; but the others, Prince Hamlet, the Duke of Buckingham, and Louis the Fourteenth, all agreed that Mrs.Bassanio was too beautiful a person to be separated from, and that it was better, therefore, to keep Bassanio in the dark as to their little enterprise until it was too late for him to interfere."A pink glow of pleasure suffused the lovely countenance of the cross-examiner, and it did not require a very sharp eye to see that the wily Kidd had completely won her over to his side.On the other hand, Elizabeth's brow became as corrugated as her ruff, and the spirit of the pirate shivered to the core as he turned and gazed upon that glowering face.
"Sir Walter agreed to that, did he?" snapped Elizabeth."And yet he was willing to part with--ah--his sister.""Well, your Majesty," began Kidd, hesitatingly, "you see it was this way: Sir Walter--er--did say that, but--ah--he--ah--but he added that he of course merely judged--er--this man Bassanio's feelings by his own in parting from his sister--""Did he say sister?" cried Elizabeth.
"Well--no--not in those words," shuffled Kidd, perceiving quickly wherein his error lay, "but--ah--I jumped at the conclusion, seeing his intense enthusiasm for the lady's beauty and--er--intellectual qualities, that he referred to you, and it is from yourself that Ihave gained my knowledge as to the fraternal, not to say sororal, relationship that exists between you.""That man's a diplomat from Diplomaville!" muttered Sir Henry Morgan, who, with Abeuchapeta and Conrad, was listening at the port without.
"He is that," said Abeuchapeta, "but he can't last much longer.He's perspiring like a pitcher of ice-water on a hot day, and a spirit of his size and volatile nature can't stand much of that without evaporating.If you will observe him closely you will see that his left arm already has vanished into thin air.""By Jove!" whispered Conrad, "that's a fact! If they don't let up on him he'll vanish.He's getting excessively tenuous about the top of his head."All of which was only too true.Subjected to a scrutiny which he had little expected, the deceitful ambassador of the thieving band was rapidly dissipating, and, as those without had so fearsomely noted, was in imminent danger of complete sublimation, which, in the case of one possessed of so little elementary purity, meant nothing short of annihilation.Fortunately for Kidd, however, his wonderful tact had stemmed the tide of suspicion.Elizabeth was satisfied with his explanation, and in the minds of at least three of the most influential ladies on board, Portia, Xanthippe, and Elizabeth, he had become a creature worthy of credence, which meant that he had nothing more to fear.
"I am prepared, your Majesty," said Elizabeth, addressing Cleopatra, "to accept from this time on the gentleman's word.The little that he has already told us is hall-marked with truth.I should like to ask, however, one more question, and that is how our gentleman friends expected to embark us upon this voyage without letting us into the secret?""Oh, as for that," replied Kidd, with a deep-drawn sigh of relief, for he too had noticed the gradual evaporation of his arm and the incipient etherization of his cranium--"as for that, it was ****** enough.There was to have been a day set apart for ladies' day at the club, and when you were all on board we were quietly to weigh anchor and start.The fact that you had anticipated the day, of your own volition, was telephoned by my scouts to me at my headquarters, and that news was by me transmitted by messenger to Sir Walter at Charon's Glen Island, where the long-talked-of fight between Samson and Goliath was taking place.Raleigh immediately replied, 'Good!
Start at once.Paris first.Unlimited credit.Love to Elizabeth.'
Wherefore, ladies," he added, rising from his chair and walking to the door--"wherefore you are here and in my care.Make yourselves comfortable, and with the aid of the fashion papers which you have already received prepare yourselves for the joys that await you.
With the aid of Madame Recamier and Baedeker's Paris, which you will find in the library, it will be your own fault if when you arrive there you resemble a great many less fortunate women who don't know what they want."With these words Kidd disappeared through the door, and fainted in the arms of Sir Henry Morgan.The strain upon him had been too great.
"A charming fellow," said Portia, as the pirate disappeared.
"Most attractive," said Elizabeth.
"Handsome, too, don't you think?" asked Helen of Troy.
"And truthful beyond peradventure," observed Xanthippe, as she reflected upon the words the captain had attributed to Socrates."Ididn't believe him at first, but when he told me what my sweet-tempered philosopher had said, I was convinced.""He's a sweet child," interposed Mrs.Noah, fondly."One of my favorite grandchildren.""Which makes it embarrassing for me to say," cried Cassandra, starting up angrily, "that he is a base caitiff!"Had a bomb been dropped in the middle of the room, it could not have created a greater sensation than the words of Cassandra.
"What?" cried several voices at once."A caitiff?""A caitiff with a capital K," retorted Cassandra."I know that, because while he was telling his story I was listening to it with one ear and looking forward into the middle of next week with the other--I mean the other eye--and I saw--"
"Yes, you saw?" cried Cleopatra.
"I saw that he was deceiving us.Mark my words, ladies, he is a base caitiff," replied Cassandra--"a base caitiff.""What did you see?" cried Elizabeth, excitedly.
"This," said Cassandra, and she began a narration of future events which I must defer to the next chapter.Meanwhile his associates were endeavoring to restore the evaporated portions of the prostrated Kidd's spirit anatomy by the use of a steam-atomizer, but with indifferent success.Kidd's training had not fitted him for an intellectual combat with superior women, and he suffered accordingly.
