Yet such was his obstinate and illogical disregard of opinion,and of the principles in which he had been trained,that his convictions on the rightness of his course with his wife had not been disturbed.
Principles which could be subverted by feeling in one direction were liable to the same catastrophe in another.The instincts which had allowed him to give Sue her liberty now enabled him to regard her as none the worse for her life with Jude.He wished for her still,in his curious way,if he did not love her,and,apart from policy,soon felt that he would be gratified to have her again as his,always provided that she came willingly.
But artifice was necessary,he had found,for stemming the cold and inhumane blast of the world's contempt.And here were the materials ready made.By getting Sue back and remarrying her on the respectable plea of having entertained erroneous views of her,and gained his divorce wrongfully,he might acquire some comfort,resume his old courses,perhaps return to the Shaston school,if not even to the Church as a licentiate.
He thought he would write to Gillingham to inquire his views,and what he thought of his,Phillotson's,sending a letter to her.Gillingham replied,naturally,that now she was gone it were best to let her be,and considered that if she were anybody's wife she was the wife of the man to whom she had borne three children and owed such tragical adventures.
Probably,as his attachment to her seemed unusually strong,the singular pair would make their union legal in course of time,and all would be well,and decent,and in order.
'But they won't -Sue won't!'exclaimed Phillotson to himself.
'Gillingham is so matter of fact.She's affected by Christminster sentiment and teaching.I can see her views on the indissolubility of marriage well enough,and I know where she got them.They are not mine;but I shall make use of them to further mine.'
He wrote a brief reply to Gillingham.'I know I am entirely wrong,but I don't agree with you.As to her having lived with and had three children by him,my feeling is (though I can advance no logical or moral defence of it,on the old lines)that it has done little more than finish her education.
I shall write to her,and learn whether what that woman said is true or no.'
As he had made up his mind to do this before he had written to his friend,there had not been much reason for writing to the latter at all.However,it was Phillotson's way to act thus.
He accordingly addressed a carefully considered epistle to Sue,and,knowing her emotional temperament,threw a Rhadamanthine strictness into the lines here and there,carefully hiding his heterodox feelings,not to frighten her.He stated that,it having come to his knowledge that her views had considerably changed,he felt compelled to say that his own,too,were largely modified by events subsequent to their parting.He would not conceal from her that passionate love had little to do with his communication.
It arose from a wish to make their lives,if not a success,at least no such disastrous failure as they threatened to become,through his acting on what he had considered at the time a principle of justice,charity,and reason.
To indulge one's instinctive and uncontrolled sense of justice and right,was not,he had found,permitted with impunity in an old civilization like ours.It was necessary to act under an acquired and cultivated sense of the same,if you wished to enjoy an average share of comfort and honour;and to let crude loving kindness take care of itself.
He suggested that she should come to him there at Marygreen.
On second thoughts he took out the last paragraph but one;and having rewritten the letter he dispatched it immediately,and in some excitement awaited the issue.
A few days after a figure moved through the white fog which enveloped the Beersheba suburb of Christminster,towards the quarter in which Jude Fawley had taken up his lodging since his division from Sue.A timid knock sounded upon the door of his abode.
It was evening -so he was at home;and by a species of divination he jumped up and rushed to the door himself.
'Will you come out with me?I would rather not come in.I want to -to talk with you -and to go with you to the cemetery.'
It had been in the trembling accents of Sue that these words came.
Jude put on his hat.'It is dreary for you to be out,'he said.'But if you prefer not to come in,I don't mind.'
'Yes -I do.I shall not keep you long.'
Jude was too much affected to go on talking at first;she,too,was now such a mere cluster of nerves that all initiatory power seemed to have left her,and they proceeded through the fog like Acherontic shades for a long while,without sound or gesture.
'I want to tell you,'she presently said,her voice now quick,now slow,'so that you may not hear of it by chance.I am going back to Richard.He has -so magnanimously -agreed to forgive all.'
'Going back?How can you go --'
'He is going to marry me again.That is for form's sake,and to satisfy the world,which does not see things as they are.But of course I am his wife already.Nothing has changed that.'
He turned upon her with an anguish that was well-nigh fierce.
'But you are my wife!Yes,you are.You know it.I have always regretted that feint of ours in going away and pretending to come back legally married,to save appearances.I loved you,and you loved me;and we closed with each other;and that made the marriage.We still love -you as well as I -know it,Sue!Therefore our marriage is not cancelled.'
'Yes;I know how you see it,'she answered with despairing self-suppression.
'But I am going to marry him again,as it would be called by you.Strictly speaking you,too -don't mind my saying it,Jude!-you should take back -Arabella.'
'I should?Good God -what next!But how if you and I had married legally,as we were on the point of doing?'
'I should have felt just the same -that ours was not a marriage.
