He was young, too, but very thin, and with a mist of fluffy brown beard all round his haggard face.All day long, at sea or in harbour, he could be seen walking hastily up and down the after-deck, wearing an intense, spiritually rapt ex-pression, which was caused by a perpetual con-sciousness of unpleasant physical sensations in his internal economy.For he was a confirmed dyspeptic.His view of my case was very ******.
He said it was nothing but deranged liver.Of course! He suggested I should stay for another trip and meantime dose myself with a certain patent medicine in which his own belief was ab-solute."I'll tell you what I'll do.I'll buy you two bottles, out of my own pocket.There.Ican't say fairer than that, can I?"
I believe he would have perpetrated the atrocity (or generosity) at the merest sign of weakening on my part.By that time, however, I was more discontented, disgusted, and dogged than ever.
The past eighteen months, so full of new and varied experience, appeared a dreary, prosaic waste of days.I felt--how shall I express it?--that there was no truth to be got out of them.
What truth? I should have been hard put to it to explain.Probably, if pressed, I would have burst into tears simply.I was young enough for that.
Next day the Captain and I transacted our busi-ness in the Harbour Office.It was a lofty, big, cool, white room, where the screened light of day glowed serenely.Everybody in it--the officials, the public--were in white.Only the heavy polished desks gleamed darkly in a central avenue, and some papers lying on them were blue.Enor-mous punkahs sent from on high a gentle draught through that immaculate interior and upon our perspiring heads.
The official behind the desk we approached grinned amiably and kept it up till, in answer to his perfunctory question, "Sign off and on again?"my Captain answered, "No! Signing off for good."And then his grin vanished in sudden solemnity.
He did not look at me again till he handed me my papers with a sorrowful expression, as if they had been my passports for Hades.
While I was putting them away he murmured some question to the Captain, and I heard the latter answer good-humouredly:
"No.He leaves us to go home."
"Oh!" the other exclaimed, nodding mournfully over my sad condition.
I didn't know him outside the official building, but he leaned forward the desk to shake hands with me, compassionately, as one would with some poor devil going out to be hanged; and I am afraid I performed my part ungraciously, in the hardened manner of an impenitent criminal.
No homeward-bound mail-boat was due for three or four days.Being now a man without a ship, and having for a time broken my connection with the sea--become, in fact, a mere potential passenger--it would have been more appropriate perhaps if I had gone to stay at an hotel.There it was, too, within a stone's throw of the Harbour Office, low, but somehow palatial, displaying its white, pillared pavilions surrounded by trim grass plots.I would have felt a passenger indeed in there! I gave it a hostile glance and directed my steps toward the Officers' Sailors' Home.
I walked in the sunshine, disregarding it, and in the shade of the big trees on the esplanade without enjoying it.The heat of the tropical East de-scended through the leafy boughs, enveloping my thinly-clad body, clinging to my rebellious dis-content, as if to rob it of its *******.
The Officers' Home was a large bungalow with a wide verandah and a curiously suburban-looking little garden of bushes and a few trees between it and the street.That institution partook some-what of the character of a residential club, but with a slightly Governmental flavour about it, because it was administered by the Harbour Office.
Its manager was officially styled Chief Steward.
He was an unhappy, wizened little man, who if put into a jockey's rig would have looked the part to perfection.But it was obvious that at some time or other in his life, in some capacity or other, he had been connected with the sea.Possibly in the comprehensive capacity of a failure.
I should have thought his employment a very easy one, but he used to affirm for some reason or other that his job would be the death of him some day.It was rather mysterious.Perhaps everything naturally was too much trouble for him.He cer-tainly seemed to hate having people in the house.
On entering it I thought he must be feeling pleased.It was as still as a tomb.I could see no one in the living rooms; and the verandah, too, was empty, except for a man at the far end dozing prone in a long chair.At the noise of my footsteps he opened one horribly fish-like eye.He was a stranger to me.I retreated from there, and cross-ing the dining room--a very bare apartment with a motionless punkah hanging over the centre table --I knocked at a door labelled in black letters:
"Chief Steward."
The answer to my knock being a vexed and dole-ful plaint: "Oh, dear! Oh, dear! What is it now?" I went in at once.
It was a strange room to find in the tropics.
Twilight and stuffiness reigned in there.The fellow had hung enormously ample, dusty, cheap lace curtains over his windows, which were shut.
Piles of cardboard boxes, such as milliners and dressmakers use in Europe, cumbered the corners;and by some means he had procured for himself the sort of furniture that might have come out of a respectable parlour in the East End of London --a horsehair sofa, arm-chairs of the same.Iglimpsed grimy antimacassars scattered over that horrid upholstery, which was awe-inspiring, in-somuch that one could not guess what mysterious accident, need, or fancy had collected it there.
Its owner had taken off his tunic, and in white trousers and a thin, short-sleeved singlet prowled behind the chair-backs nursing his meagre el-bows.
An exclamation of dismay escaped him when he heard that I had come for a stay; but he could not deny that there were plenty of vacant rooms.
