I only wish you could impart to me some small portion of your experience before I go.As it can't be done in ten minutes I had better not begin to ask you.There's that harbour launch waiting for me, too.But I won't feel really at peace till I have that ship of mine out in the Indian Ocean."He remarked casually that from Bangkok to the Indian Ocean was a pretty long step.And this murmur, like a dim flash from a dark lantern, showed me for a moment the broad belt of islands and reefs between that unknown ship, which was mine, and the ******* of the great waters of the globe.
But I felt no apprehension.I was familiar enough with the Archipelago by that time.Ex-treme patience and extreme care would see me through the region of broken land, of faint airs, and of dead water to where I would feel at last my command swing on the great swell and list over to the great breath of regular winds, that would give her the feeling of a large, more intense life.The road would be long.All roads are long that lead toward one's heart's desire.But this road my mind's eye could see on a chart, professionally, with all its complications and difficulties, yet ****** enough in a way.One is a seaman or one is not.
And I had no doubt of being one.
The only part I was a stranger to was the Gulf of Siam.And I mentioned this to Captain Giles.
Not that I was concerned very much.It belonged to the same region the nature of which I knew, into whose very soul I seemed to have looked during the last months of that existence with which I had broken now, suddenly, as one parts with some en-chanting company.
"The gulf...Ay! A funny piece of water--that," said Captain Giles.
Funny, in this connection, was a vague word.
The whole thing sounded like an opinion uttered by a cautious person mindful of actions for slander.
I didn't inquire as to the nature of that funni-ness.There was really no time.But at the very last he volunteered a warning.
"Whatever you do keep to the east side of it.
The west side is dangerous at this time of the year.
Don't let anything tempt you over.You'll find nothing but trouble there."Though I could hardly imagine what could tempt me to involve my ship amongst the currents and reefs of the Malay shore, I thanked him for the advice.
He gripped my extended arm warmly, and the end of our acquaintance came suddenly in the words: "Good-night."That was all he said: "Good-night." Nothing more.I don't know what I intended to say, but surprise made me swallow it, whatever it was.Ichoked slightly, and then exclaimed with a sort of nervous haste: "Oh! Good-night, Captain Giles, good-night."His movements were always deliberate, but his back had receded some distance along the deserted quay before I collected myself enough to follow his example and made a half turn in the direction of the jetty.
Only my movements were not deliberate.Ihurried down to the steps, and leaped into the launch.Before I had fairly landed in her stern-sheets the slim little craft darted away from the jetty with a sudden swirl of her propeller and the hard, rapid puffing of the exhaust in her vaguely gleaming brass funnel amidships.
The misty churning at her stern was the only sound in the world.The shore lay plunged in the silence of the deeper slumber.I watched the town recede still and soundless in the hot night, till the abrupt hail, "Steam-launch, ahoy!" made me spin round face forward.We were close to a white ghostly steamer.Lights shone on her decks, in her portholes.And the same voice shouted from her:
"Is that our passenger?"
"It is," I yelled.
Her crew had been obviously on the jump.Icould hear them running about.The modern spirit of haste was loudly vocal in the orders to "Heave away on the cable"--to "Lower the side-ladder," and in urgent requests to me to "Come along, sir! We have been delayed three hours for you....Our time is seven o'clock, you know!"I stepped on the deck.I said "No! I don't know." The spirit of modern hurry was embodied in a thin, long-armed, long-legged man, with a closely clipped gray beard.His meagre hand was hot and dry.He declared feverishly:
"I am hanged if I would have waited another five minutes Harbour-Master or no Harbour-Master."
"That's your own business," I said."I didn't ask you to wait for me.""I hope you don't expect any supper," he burst out."This isn't a boarding-house afloat.You are the first passenger I ever had in my life and I hope to goodness you will be the last."I made no answer to this hospitable communi-cation; and, indeed, he didn't wait for any, bolting away on to his bridge to get his ship under way.
For the three days he had me on board he did not depart from that half-hostile attitude.His ship having been delayed three hours on my account he couldn't forgive me for not being a more distin-guished person.He was not exactly outspoken about it, but that feeling of annoyed wonder was peeping out perpetually in his talk.
He was absurd.
He was also a man of much experience, which he liked to trot out; but no greater contrast with Cap-tain Giles could have been imagined.He would have amused me if I had wanted to be amused.
But I did not want to be amused.I was like a lover looking forward to a meeting.Human hos-tility was nothing to me.I thought of my un-known ship.It was amusement enough, torment enough, occupation enough.
He perceived my state, for his wits were suffi-ciently sharp for that, and he poked sly fun at my preoccupation in the manner some nasty, cynical old men assume toward the dreams and illusions of youth.I, on my side, refrained from questioning him as to the appearance of my ship, though Iknew that being in Bangkok every fortnight or so he must have known her by sight.I was not going to expose the ship, my ship! to some slighting reference.
He was the first really unsympathetic man I had ever come in contact with.My education was far from being finished, though I didn't know it.No!
I didn't know it.
